13.01.2023
Yuri Alexeyevich Gagarin’s main love from the time of the flying club was, of course, aviation. But, as we have already noted, he was not a monk and began to have relationships with girls quite early: one does not interfere with the other at all.
His Soviet biographers either avoided this “sensitive” topic or made up romantic stories whose veracity is difficult to verify. Post-Soviet ones, on the contrary, try to find and show the public “juicy” details. For example, Vladimir Rossoshansky, in his book The Phenomenon of Gagarin (2001, 2011), devotes a whole chapter to “About Love”, quoting some strange women who claim to be the cosmonaut’s “close friends” (but for some reason nobody is embarrassed by the apparent discord between their stories and the well-known facts about Yuri Alexeyevich). In his book “Yuri Gagarin,” Lev Danilkin not only meticulously collected all the rumors and speculations on the subject that he could unearth in the press, but also stated that they are of “particular interest,” unlike the “boring” technology. An adult, but his interests are those of a teenager, excuse me.
Don’t go down the road of replicating rumors. Everything that is known about Gagarin’s girlfriends before 1956 is mentioned above. Here we should also devote a few words to his wife Valentina, whom he met in Chkalov-Orenburg.
In principle, she herself gave details in her documentary books “108 Minutes and All Life” (1981, 1982, 1984, 1986) and “Every Year on April 12” (1984). Journalist Mikhail Fyodorovich Rebrov helped her in her work. Here we will highlight the main thing.
Valentina Ivanovna was born on December 15, 1935 in family of many children Ivan Stepanovich (b. 1894) and Varvara Semenovna Goryachev (b. 1895). There is very little information about his family – evidently, the cosmonaut’s wife did not want to tell about her relatives. According to biographers’ books, her father, a native of Orenburg, was a cook by profession and highly qualified: he worked in sanatoriums and restaurants. Her mother, a native of Ryazan Oblast, was engaged in housekeeping.
The Goryachevs lived in Chkalov-Orenburg at 35 Chicherina Street, Apartment 2. Two adults and six children lived in two small rooms of a “communal apartment” on the second floor of an old merchant mansion! During the war, the three sons were drafted into the army. The eldest, Alexei and the youngest, Mikhail, were killed, and the middle one, Ivan, fought in the Far East and returned home. Of her three daughters Valentina was the youngest, and by the time she met Yuri she was only twenty.
The first meeting between the future husband and wife happened by chance. There were periodically held dancing evenings in the club of the college. On February 1, 1956 on one of such evenings for the first time there were cadets of a new set. Here we will give the floor to Valentina Ivanovna, who is the only one able to tell us how acquaintance took place: “Memory has preserved many things. And that evening at the aviation school, the dancing couples, the music, and the group of first-year cadets that suddenly appeared, shorn, fussy, excited about their first outing after quarantine.
It was then that we met for the first time. He asked me to dance. He led easily, confidently, and bombarded me with endless questions: “What’s your name? Where are you from? Are you studying or working? Do you often come to evenings at the school? Do you like this tango…?”
Frankly, the first impression of acquaintance with Yura was somehow not in his favor. He was short and thin. His head was big, with a short lock of hair and protruding ears. He speaks fast, and after each phrase somehow moves his swollen lips, as if he is nailing the words. To say he is agile is to say nothing. At times it seemed as if he was in different places at the same time.
Then there was another dance, a third… At ten o’clock the music died down. He walked me to the exit (they weren’t allowed to go outside the school entrance) and, as if we had already agreed on everything, said:
“So, until next Sunday. We’ll go skiing”.
I didn’t say anything: skiing it is like skiing. Already at home I thought: “Why must I go skiing with this “bald man”? And anyway, why is he acting so confident? We’ve known each other for only one day…”.
We didn’t go skiing. There were no skis, there was no weather. We went to the movies. I don’t remember what movie we saw, but we disagreed about it. At first we argued, proved our point of view to each other. We never came to a common opinion. The argument moved on to another topic, and somehow it didn’t work either. Then the conversation became quite boring. We walked in silence for a long time. Near our house, just as on that first night, he said:
“So, until next Sunday. Let’s go…”
And then he stopped talking and looked at me. He looked at me and added:
“Let’s go visit”.
“Who to?” I wondered. – “Us, or what?”
“Your place”.
He said it simply, as if I had invited him, as if we had known each other for a long time.
Later, when I got to know him better, it became clear to me that one of the most remarkable qualities of his character was his ability to mix easily and freely with people, to quickly adapt to any situation. No matter what kind of society was assembled, he would immediately feel at home in it, like a fish in water.
At the time we were in our twenties. We didn’t make far-reaching plans, we hid our feelings, and were a little shy of each other. To say that I fell in love with him at once would be to lie. On the outside he didn’t stand out among the others. On the contrary, the older guys looked more sedate, their hairstyles made them more attractive, girls liked them more. What about my date? My ‘bald guy’…?”
The hair eventually grew back – even before Gagarin became a “senior.” But the most interesting thing about this important line in Yuri Alexeyevich’s biography is how his amazing ability to combine romance and pragmatism reappeared. He knew it was time to get married. He liked the girl Valentina. He wanted to get to know her better and tried to act so that she would get to know him better. Since it is easier to establish contact with family, Yuri immediately asked to visit. Once again we turn to the memories of Valentina Ivanovna:
“I didn’t realize right away that if this man was going to be a friend, he would be a friend for life. But when I did… We had many meetings, many heart-to-heart talks, we looked at each other for a long time before we declared our love and decided to link our lives and destinies forever.
How did he talk about his love? Very simply. He did not look for beautiful words, he did not try to be clever. But there was such a recklessness, such elation in his explanation and confession…
We began to meet more often, to think about the future.
“Love at first sight – it’s beautiful”, – said Yura – “but even more beautiful – love until the last sight. And for this kind of love is not enough just the attraction of the heart. Valya,” he continued, “let’s act on the proverb ‘Measure twice, cut once”.
I realized that his serious attitude toward the decisive step in life had nothing to do with prudent prudence. He was a stranger to selfishness. He thought about me: wouldn’t I regret it, wouldn’t I regret it when it was too late to change my mind?
He thought more about others than about himself. I realized this long before we became husband and wife.
In general, the above two quotations contain all that Valentina Gagarina wanted to tell about the first months of acquaintance with Yuri Alekseevich. It is known, of course, that they were seen together more and more often. They walked around the city, went to the movies and the local theater, were at feasts at the Goryachev’s seniors. Yuri introduced the girl to some of his friends from his classmates. When he left for the airfield, he wrote letters, and on occasion, when he returned to town, dropped in on Valentina for a few hours. Some may think that this story has little romantic adventure and heartbreaking passion, but that’s just it, the romance of bringing people like each other is manifested in the little things that are forever only between them. Eventually, Yuri and Valentina became attached to each other. If there were conflicts between them, they were not so substantial as to disturb the development of their relationship. Goryachev’s family also accepted Yuri as their family member: he made a good impression – always neat, neat, well-read, sociable, cheerful. Gagarin also knew a lot of poetry and loved to recite, including Sergei Yesenin, whose works were then under a “mild” ideological ban (from time to time separate lyric collections were published, but fans could only dream of a complete collection of works). Perhaps Yuri’s plans seemed a bit “Napoleonic” from the outside, but his biography spoke for itself: he was a very promising young man. Gagarin himself made his final decision, probably by the fall of 1956. In November, he went to Gzhatsk. His mother Anna Timofeyevna recalled (I quote from Memory of the Heart, 1985):
“He arrived with his hair already grown back, wearing a uniform with the stripes of a sergeant. Of course, he immediately wanted to look around, to see everything. He brought us presents. In general, there was never a case when Jura arrived empty-handed. Even when he was studying at the trade school, where he had as much money as he could handle.
I felt that Yura wanted to talk to me alone about something. And I guessed what it was. In recent news from Orenburg the name of Valya Goryacheva often came up.
I myself at his age met the harmonica player Lyosha Gagarin. But I had no joy to share with my parents: my father and mother died by that time. I had nobody to consult with.
One evening, when Yury and I were alone in the house, I approached him. I realized that he was still hesitant to start, and I asked him:
“Tell me, son, about Valya”.
He was glad – the difficult beginning is over, he told me that he had met a girl at a dance party at the college. Yura talked about Volya’s family. There were six children there.
“It is good to have many children in the family! So they all work hard, unspoiled”, – I said.
I knew that from experience.
Valya was the youngest of three brothers and three sisters. She used to work at the telegraph office, and now she’s enrolled at the medical school.
“I often visit them,” said Yura, “I also celebrated these holidays at the Goryachevs”.
Our conversation was frank, I asked:
“Are you thinking of getting married?”
Jura indefinitely shrugged his shoulders. But it seemed to me that it was not because of indecision, but because he took his word very seriously. If he said it, it would be so. He was still a cadet and could not support a family, so he probably thought it was too early to talk about marriage.
I wanted to tell him off. I knew that even without asking, he was waiting for my word. So I said:
“If you love, then get married. Only firmly, for life, as my father and I. And the joys and the sorrows – all in half”.
I talked to him about marriage as if it were a done deal, and Yura liked it. We had a long talk. Family matters are complicated, it happens. The next day Yura said he wanted to go back to Orenburg. I understood him, I did not beg him to stay: his beloved girl was waiting for him.
For Gagarin, who grew up in the countryside under his mother’s care, it was important to get her “blessing”. And when he found support, he no longer hesitated. On November 23, interrupting his vacation, Yuri returned to Chkalov-Orenburg. Later in his book “The Road to Space” he wrote about it: “My squadron mates and commanders understood me without words. And Valya was glad: she knew why I returned”.
Are romance and pragmatism compatible? They are compatible if there is no niceness between them, on either side.
